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What attracted me. Oh, I've never had to sit down and analyze all these things like this. I've never done it. I mean, it seems to have just happened, it seems to have just been right. Desmond has always behaved as if he's years older than me. He's

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only two years my senior and he's always sort of played the big brother. He's always been protective. He's always been the first to forgive if we are coming to a quarrel and whether it's his fault or my fault, he'll be the first one, to apologize and

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say, let's talk about it. The truth is, I don't know when it starts, but, you know, the road is long as you travel it, the longer you go, the more dependent you are on the other. Actually, I think I loved Desmond long before he loved me.

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My first impression of him because I thought he was quite a nice looking young man. I would have liked to go out with, but I don't think he noticed me at all. She, she says I, I hardly noticed her. Uh, but I did, I did notice

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her. He was just a stuck up hit Masters son. She, she usually says that I was sort of to and you talk about boys with friends and you say, oh, he's handsome. Oh, he's all right. Oh, he's, oh, he's stuck up as the only son my

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parents want, obviously wanted me to get married. It was actually a very sneaky way. He caught me, my older sister, I said she really didn't like the person that I, I had thought I was going to get married to. So I said, ok, who is the

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person that you would want? And my young, it was a my younger sister who said, uh, we didn't have one girlfriend. So I said, that's Leah get married to. Leah knew I was about to finish um, at college and start teaching with friends. And again, my

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father loved this girl because she was so brilliant and my father used to call her a genius. I wrote her a note to say, could she come to my home? He's got some news about a teaching post. And you see, my father was a principal. I

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rushed to go and hear about this teaching post and she really loved dashing. She, she, she, she had a, an hour last figure, I can still see him in my mind's eye. And there she was wearing a green dress with a, with a blue beret. She

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had a particular way of wearing her. I think she must have been shocked. And there was no teaching post that he'd known about. He just wanted us to, I said to her, I've got to get married. You know, my parents want me to get married. I

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thought it's a strange way of proposing. If he is proposing, that was not too romantic. Our generations will look at all sorts of things. He came from a good home. He had good parents and he was polite and I said, ok, I'll help you be an

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obedient boy to your parents. I'll marry you. I had to borrow the money to get my, you know, and I fortunately I borrowed, borrowed it from a, a religious community. They couldn't say they wanted to have a share in her. Uh-huh. We got married on the

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second of July, obviously, 1955 it was a very true African wedding. He was smashing on that day. This one looks really very handsome. We didn't have money for a honeymoon. In fact, I think we still owed money for our wedding attire. I had married a poor

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man. I was poor and married a poor man and I wasn't expecting to get things from him. I was expecting us to work and get things for ourselves. The newlyweds set up home in mani around the corner from Desmond's parents, but it was the era of

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so-called Bontu education, frustrated in protest, both Lea and Desmond left the teaching profession. Desmond turned to the church. Lea studied nursing, blessed with their first child, Trevor was born. It was tough times for the young couples starting out at number 503 A Magali street. It was

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a three room house, 123 rooms, the wall between the dining room and our bedroom didn't go right up to the ceiling so that the light had to be for both sides for the right dining room and the bedroom. And these were the better ones. You know,

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we were the sun of Manville. We've had some very interesting times. We lived in a backyard and it wasn't even AAA room we lived in, in the garage the first time we went to England when I was a student and our allowance was so small. I

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couldn't pay the the milkman. I crept under the bed and said when we struggled for worldly goods, it was tough. But you see, we struggle together. Desmond has been very good with the Children. He used to bat the Children all the time. He can't cook. And

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that's the last thing you should ask him to do. You can ask him to wash dishes and you know, wash pots, but don't ask him to cook with the cooking securely in Leah's hands. Desmond excelled in his calling within the Anglican Church by 1966 returning from

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four year study in London back in apartheid, South Africa, Desmond and Leia were making frequent road trips, taking and fetching. Now, three Children from Waterford College in Swaziland. Trevor, the oldest was 10. At the time one day, we were coming back from Swaziland and we were

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crossing the border, the Lesotho border Thandi was in front. Trevor was behind Thandi and there was a young white police police doing the stamping and uh sorting through the passport. He did turn his passport and sort of threw it like that and he threw my mother's

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passport at her for no apparent reason. Trevor, I got very upset about this. I asked him what sort of idiot he thought he was at the age of 10, I was arrested. They then dragged Trevor in and I followed in, I said, you can't take him,

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he's under age, you can't take him without me being there. And they said, do you want we're going to, to, to, to arrest you for trespassing if I go through the center of the captain of that border post. And I mean, this guy came in and

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he was enormous. He questioned me and I called him my father, his part in common was in my eyes as he walked into the room. He had never seen so much hatred. And I, I was saying to myself, my buddy, he did not know the difference

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between fear and hatred. That was, that was the beginning of our problems with the Children. Each time we approached borders. I mean, you could see that the Children were becoming very uneasy. In 1972 Desmond took a position with the World Council of Churches and the family

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relocated and settled in London. It was a welcome respite from the shackles of apartheid, South Africa. The freedom was short lived. Three years later, Desmond accepted the post of Dean of ST Mary's Cathedral in Johannesburg. We just bought a house um in London. The first house

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that we ever owned, the Children were going to good schools, they're staying at home. Uh Travel was just, um going off to university in London that I knew as a child was, you know, filled with the hippodrome and ballet and theaters and musicals and fun, cricket

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and soccer, you know, and I mean, my parents friends coming over to play, my friends coming to play and this man says, pick it up, we go home. I thought he was crazy. Then we, we, oh, we argued a lot about this and she knew that

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when we return to South Africa, her Children, we're going to have to be separated from her if we have to go to boarding schools and just being brought up and under all the pressures of apartheid. I think she found that to be one of the most

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difficult decisions we ever took if that didn't lead to a divorce court. I don't think there'd be anything that can really lead to a divorce court because I really was angry with him. I didn't want to come back. I don't think anything could have prepared you

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for the South Africa to which I came back. I had lived now in, in a different country and know that things could be different to come back to being not even a second class citizen. I mean, 3rd, 4th class would probably more, more aptly cover it.

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And my Children having to suffer as my Children did. That also helped to put a little anger in me if they want to know the direction in which I'm taking the Southern Council of churches, we are focusing on that homelands policy and the resettlement and Uprooting

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of our people and let them know. But as long as I am around and as long as that policy is around, I will call for pressure to ensure that that policy is destroyed. It was a time when he was enemy number one when I say there

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is nothing they can do to me and I want to challenge them even to be. I say there is absolutely nothing they will do to me, which will stop me. There were always going to be incidents under those circumstances. Somebody makes a phone call, they would

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say to a child as old as Paul at six. They thought that they would say, well, call your father or your mother. They wouldn't, they would just say we are going to kill your father, you know, and tell him or something. And you could see the

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child. I used to find that almost unforgivable. The system tries all it can to destroy us. It won't succeed. I want to tell you it won't succeed, it won't succeed because God. God is on our side, none is free until we are free. And we want

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to, we want, I keep begging white people. I say join us, join the winning side, join, join the winning side. Sometimes he would be late coming back. And each minute uh you know, said you thinking whether it was arrest assassination, there was a time when I

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hoped that uh if they arrested him, I would at least know the pamphlets that they will use to distribute about us. You know, as well as I do, especially in news that what you use and the way you use it carries a certain message, the demonization

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of Desmond Tutu by the then government at that stage was done for a specific reason. Today, I say it was wrong and I regret it. I didn't mind. They are doing that to me. It was when they tried to get at me by getting at the

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family that they really made me bristle with anger. I mean, the humiliations that they experienced being handcuffed to two men being paraded through the streets of Johannesburg for an alleged traffic offense. Trevor might not be always a blue eyed boy with Trevor's humor. He just makes

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jokes about things. Are you really a Desmond Tutu's son? And Trevor says, well, that's my mother's story and then Trevor says that guy was too dim to catch the joke. They were really just penalizing him for, for the fact that he had my surname. I've also

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got to be perfectly fair and say that, you know, I mean, it isn't as if I was backward and coming forward. You see people like ourselves are one day going to be pushed aside. The people are going to say nonsense, those leaders, they keep talking about

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peace and our people keep getting killed. I think it was uh said the trouble with Bishop Tutu is that he talks too much. And I, I said to Leah, what do you think? Do you think? I, I am talking too much but I knew if, if

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he did quit quiet, you would not be quiet inside, it would just make him explode. And so I said, you know, I'm all behind you. I know it hurts, it's difficult, but I would rather support you doing what you think is right because I do think

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it's right. What you do. I really would rather see you in Robben Island than you dying slowly inside. I've never had the same sense of affirmation that I got from her that day. There are only two ways to freedom in South Africa. The one way is

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through sitting down and talking, which we say let us do the other and there is no middle way behind all this is nonsense, middle way. There are only two options. We either talk. Oh, we fight and I am still saying we want to help you South

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African government, South African whites, we want to help you to talk. We want you to be alive when freedom comes. It was one of the greatest pains for me in the apartheid days to find that I was the ogre for so many in the white community.

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I really didn't like having to be abrasive and all of that. I've never had an occasion where I had to keep quiet because I'm destined to, to sway. She's been able to say when she didn't agree with me, I do have my own opinion and I

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don't think for one minute that being Desmond Tutu's wife makes me less than no tutu. Most times during the, during the struggle, we really were um shoulder to shoulder. The birth of my son was one of our happiest moments after our wedding. And then when he

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was um honored with the Nobel Prize, it was a wonderful, wonderful location and then of the weddings of our Children following in her father's footsteps. Mpho was ordained in 2003. As with Thandeka and Naomi Mpho lives in the USA. Trevor has set up home in South

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Africa together. They have blessed Desmond and Lea with seven grandchildren. We used to spend an inordinate amount of time taking Children to and from school because the only schools that were available were in Swaziland cars then didn't have radios or maybe the Oppenheim was the Rupert

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did. But certainly the ones that, uh, my parents were using did not and they would sing all the way along and harmonize, you know, old school songs and folk songs and stuff. They just seem to be able to have fun doing nothing together. What should have

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been a horrible trial? They managed to turn it into a positive affirmation of their love and their relationship. She, she's tougher. I think she's tougher in many ways than, than, than I am. I think I get my strength from Temo. I really do get my strength

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from him. She is more extrovert than I. You can't help being sad when he's sad because he's just openly sad and he will cry. Many people would not believe that I am. I'm actually quite shy and the hardest was when he got ill with cancer. I

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came to see it as a gracious messenger who reminded me that actually I was taking too many things for granted. I thought, um, he's going and then I, I realized just, um, what life would be, um, without him, without her. I, I wouldn't be, I, I

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know I wouldn't be where I, I have been. Uh, and I wouldn't have been able to accomplish, uh, the things that God has enabled us to accomplish. I'm more dependent on him now than I was when we first married and had nothing. Each one of us

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had nothing. I'm dependent on him when I'm not feeling well, I'm dependent on him. When I'm upset, somebody is upset me, I'm dependent, you know, to, to enjoy whatever thing I'm happy about. I depend on him, you know, to, to, to, to come and help me

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uh fulfill that joy. I'm very, very deeply blessed and really want to pay her. Uh I can't, I can't, I mean, uh pay a tribute that is worthy of her until death do us part. That's what it is with them.